my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia
trying to write essays
what does this mean
have u ever written an essay
sometimes people are like sunshine and sometimes people are like rainclouds but thats ok because both are important to make the flowers grow
i love you
“So what’s it all add up to? Well, it’s hard to say. But me, I’d say it was a test. For Sam and Dean. And I think they did alright. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself - They made their own choice. They chose family. And well, isn’t that kinda the whole point?”
Every time I see Elizabeth i’s signature I get absurdly happy cause I just imagine her signing her name and doing a little twirly and then pausing and then adding a few more twirlies
“your majesty perhaps thats enough twirls” suggests William Cecil
“perhaps Im the motherfuckin queen” suggests elizabeth and adds 6 more
Getting a sleeve done
THINGS IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO BE
- non binary
THINGS IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE
- an asshole
- a goose
this post wasn’t even about social justice it was about my hatred of geese
I promised you to have a new giveaway when I reached my goal, so here it is! I don’t have that much to give, but I hope you like it anyway.
- the tales of beedle the bard
- fantastic beasts and where to find them
- one time turner necklace
- one deathly hallows necklace
Jennifer getting overly excited when she wins a game on Fandango
I love this kid.
He’s only in Prisoner of Azkaban, and he has two lines:
“It’s among the darkest omens in our world. It’s an omen… of death.”
and don’t forget, the ever popular:
“It’s like trying to catch smoke… Like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.”
It’s like okay, kid, we don’t know who you are, but go ahead and say the two most intense lines in the entire movie. I guess that’s cool. Whatevs.
This is Bem, the only student to ever successfully change Houses. In the third movie, he’s a Gryffindor. In the fifth he magically becomes a Ravenclaw. Bow down to Bem for he holds all the knowledge.
BEM IS OUR KING.
It’s because after he uttered those two lines everyone was like ‘DAYUM BEM’ and he was sent to Dumbledore’s office and Dumbledore was like I boy you twoo fuckin’ wise to be a lion you gonna be a eagle now. Get your ass in Ravenclaw.
and thats how it happened.
All hail Bem.
you can really tell we haven’t had a new book for over 5 years now can’t you?